Episode 3. Biobaku Saga part 1 (a continuation of Life in Unilag )
Systems baba! wetin boys go chaw na?
-Systems- was known for his excessive sense of humor and his seriousness for almost everything. You can see Systems explaining the concept of dodging bullet with the usual projectile and he is adding unusual words like skin color, temperature , atmospheric pressure and all sort of irrelevant things. He got the nickname from his department 'Systems engineering'.
The first time I entered my room in Biobaku hall I met this guy, he looked like a bully (well I'm not the type that you can bully) but with time we got to know each other better . And He's just this funny and friendly guy so never judge a book by its cover.
Hmm. Something happened One night. Yeah one fateful night like that.
That night, I came back from the library late around 9:00pm, entered my room just to find Systems cooking. Wonders shall never End! If you know this Guy that I'm talking about you'll never ask him to boil water for you because he might add salt.
I looked around to confirm I was in my room, and I saw Shayo, Lexychills, Solodinho, Tunani, Yemi Rain et al. Damn I'm in my room.
Well, anything can happen. So I just dropped by bag, put off my clothes, went to my locker to get my towel and made exit through the door.
... .... ......There's always water in biobaku hall but this night after rubbing soap on my face the shower stopped. Arhh .. Who have I offended?
I usually bath with Premier cool ( and that soap can bleach anything but somehow I still managed to retain my black skin). Out of annoyance I just grabbed my towel, cleaned my face and left for the balcony * thinking I'll show these porters tonight*
PORTER LESKOT PUMP WATER!!! PORTER PUMP WATER!!! LESKOT PUMP WATER!!!
Within few seconds some jobless fellows joined me and soon we were constituting nuisance to the environment.
:Ehn Leskot dey come leskot dey come!!!: within a twinkle of an eye everybody don tear. Bwahahahahah. Biobaku boys!!!
With a confused feeling- I was feeling half happy for disturbing everyone's peace and feeling half sad that I'll have to go downstairs and fetch water worse still I might even meet a Kofo girl who will yarb my soul- I left for my room.
-When I entered the room I wasn't surprised to see everyone yelling at Systems but when I heard what he did this time around I was shocked. Systems added palm oil to the noodles he was cooking. Taaa!
Guy!!! Wetin u dea use think? Why you go add palm oil to indomie? I don die.
He just looked at me, smiled and said; No I'm trying to fluctuate the taste of the ... -you don't want to hear the rest-
Systems na wa for you o! Take this Hungry man, cook am make we Add am to this your rubbish to reduce the concentration of the palm oil.
He just jumped up and said 'TAINKS' ( systems has never pronounced anything properly for the fun of it)
Within few minutes the 'delicacy' was ready and I was served my share. Not bad the stuff tasted like spoiled rice with fish stew. As I was digging in nemesis cut-up with me.
... .... ..... ...... ..... .....
Knock knock knock...
.... Go aways! Go aways!! I yelled at the door. Not giving a damn who was behind that door.
Then We all heard a deep voice -MY FRIEND Open up-
Arhh. Its porter mike o. Yemi rain exclaimed! (Looking through the window)
Ehn, wetin happen na We dey here. Tunani said.
Tell am make he go away. I said, trying not to reflect my fear. ( I knew I was in big soup, I've been traced for creating that 'porter-pump-water scenario' . 'Won ti get mi sha' ) and if anything is sure, it is the fact that I'm definitely not sleeping on my mattress tonight and worse still I might even visit Alpha base and write statement)
Ogbenii go away. Lexychills said. And everyone busted into laughter.
I decided to go and open the door and at the same time I was thinking of what to say.
"" ....""" ....."""" .....
Hey! Where is that foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor? He asked.
Which foolish boy? (I asked with an innocent rabbit face)
Nobody is foolish here sir. (I continued)
Shut-up. If you guys don't talk I'll carry your mattress oh! (The man said with a not-smilling face)
Say wetin? Wait is that a threat or what ? I said the boy is not here.
Are you talking to me? He asked.
No na your shadow (I just change am, Use plan-B for am) you can't just come here and insult people randomly. Who are you self? we were reading before you entered. You can't just enter into people's room like that na.
Shayor just tapped my shoulder and said He's the Porter?
Arh (I opened my eyes wide as if I was shocked) immediately I prostrated and was begging him (pretending as if I didn't know he was the porter)
Everybody in my room knew it was a prank and were laughing.
Someone even said; See that ur foolish mouth will put you in trouble one day.
You're a foolish boy. Where is your mattress? If you sleep on the floor this night you'll know you shouldn't just talk to people anyhow here.
Ahh I'm sorry Sir. Pls don't seize my mattress sir. I have Gastrointestinal disorder (
I just said rubbish) .
Ehhn. Ehn... Shut-up. If you sleep on the floor tonight, in your life you won't do that again.
After begging for like five minutes he left me alone and forgot he was looking for the foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor.
Hehehe lucky Me.
Biobaku hall was like another planet entirely. Only that it was all-boys. If I start to mention every character in my room you'll probably run out of mb. Don't worry just stay tuned.
Systems baba! wetin boys go chaw na?
-Systems- was known for his excessive sense of humor and his seriousness for almost everything. You can see Systems explaining the concept of dodging bullet with the usual projectile and he is adding unusual words like skin color, temperature , atmospheric pressure and all sort of irrelevant things. He got the nickname from his department 'Systems engineering'.
The first time I entered my room in Biobaku hall I met this guy, he looked like a bully (well I'm not the type that you can bully) but with time we got to know each other better . And He's just this funny and friendly guy so never judge a book by its cover.
Hmm. Something happened One night. Yeah one fateful night like that.
That night, I came back from the library late around 9:00pm, entered my room just to find Systems cooking. Wonders shall never End! If you know this Guy that I'm talking about you'll never ask him to boil water for you because he might add salt.
I looked around to confirm I was in my room, and I saw Shayo, Lexychills, Solodinho, Tunani, Yemi Rain et al. Damn I'm in my room.
Well, anything can happen. So I just dropped by bag, put off my clothes, went to my locker to get my towel and made exit through the door.
... .... ......There's always water in biobaku hall but this night after rubbing soap on my face the shower stopped. Arhh .. Who have I offended?
I usually bath with Premier cool ( and that soap can bleach anything but somehow I still managed to retain my black skin). Out of annoyance I just grabbed my towel, cleaned my face and left for the balcony * thinking I'll show these porters tonight*
PORTER LESKOT PUMP WATER!!! PORTER PUMP WATER!!! LESKOT PUMP WATER!!!
Within few seconds some jobless fellows joined me and soon we were constituting nuisance to the environment.
:Ehn Leskot dey come leskot dey come!!!: within a twinkle of an eye everybody don tear. Bwahahahahah. Biobaku boys!!!
With a confused feeling- I was feeling half happy for disturbing everyone's peace and feeling half sad that I'll have to go downstairs and fetch water worse still I might even meet a Kofo girl who will yarb my soul- I left for my room.
-When I entered the room I wasn't surprised to see everyone yelling at Systems but when I heard what he did this time around I was shocked. Systems added palm oil to the noodles he was cooking. Taaa!
Guy!!! Wetin u dea use think? Why you go add palm oil to indomie? I don die.
He just looked at me, smiled and said; No I'm trying to fluctuate the taste of the ... -you don't want to hear the rest-
Systems na wa for you o! Take this Hungry man, cook am make we Add am to this your rubbish to reduce the concentration of the palm oil.
He just jumped up and said 'TAINKS' ( systems has never pronounced anything properly for the fun of it)
Within few minutes the 'delicacy' was ready and I was served my share. Not bad the stuff tasted like spoiled rice with fish stew. As I was digging in nemesis cut-up with me.
... .... ..... ...... ..... .....
Knock knock knock...
.... Go aways! Go aways!! I yelled at the door. Not giving a damn who was behind that door.
Then We all heard a deep voice -MY FRIEND Open up-
Arhh. Its porter mike o. Yemi rain exclaimed! (Looking through the window)
Ehn, wetin happen na We dey here. Tunani said.
Tell am make he go away. I said, trying not to reflect my fear. ( I knew I was in big soup, I've been traced for creating that 'porter-pump-water scenario' . 'Won ti get mi sha' ) and if anything is sure, it is the fact that I'm definitely not sleeping on my mattress tonight and worse still I might even visit Alpha base and write statement)
Ogbenii go away. Lexychills said. And everyone busted into laughter.
I decided to go and open the door and at the same time I was thinking of what to say.
"" ....""" ....."""" .....
Hey! Where is that foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor? He asked.
Which foolish boy? (I asked with an innocent rabbit face)
Nobody is foolish here sir. (I continued)
Shut-up. If you guys don't talk I'll carry your mattress oh! (The man said with a not-smilling face)
Say wetin? Wait is that a threat or what ? I said the boy is not here.
Are you talking to me? He asked.
No na your shadow (I just change am, Use plan-B for am) you can't just come here and insult people randomly. Who are you self? we were reading before you entered. You can't just enter into people's room like that na.
Shayor just tapped my shoulder and said He's the Porter?
Arh (I opened my eyes wide as if I was shocked) immediately I prostrated and was begging him (pretending as if I didn't know he was the porter)
Everybody in my room knew it was a prank and were laughing.
Someone even said; See that ur foolish mouth will put you in trouble one day.
You're a foolish boy. Where is your mattress? If you sleep on the floor this night you'll know you shouldn't just talk to people anyhow here.
Ahh I'm sorry Sir. Pls don't seize my mattress sir. I have Gastrointestinal disorder (
I just said rubbish) .
Ehhn. Ehn... Shut-up. If you sleep on the floor tonight, in your life you won't do that again.
After begging for like five minutes he left me alone and forgot he was looking for the foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor.
Hehehe lucky Me.
Biobaku hall was like another planet entirely. Only that it was all-boys. If I start to mention every character in my room you'll probably run out of mb. Don't worry just stay tuned.
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